{"id":790,"date":"2015-04-01T21:32:56","date_gmt":"2015-04-02T06:32:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cms.shelquist.us\/?p=790"},"modified":"2015-04-02T01:45:36","modified_gmt":"2015-04-02T10:45:36","slug":"apr-1-april-fools-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cms.shelquist.us\/?p=790","title":{"rendered":"Apr. 1 &#8211; April Fools Day"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"shariff\" data-title=\"Apr. 1 &#8211; April Fools Day\" data-info-url=\"http:\/\/ct.de\/-2467514\" data-backend-url=\"https:\/\/cms.shelquist.us\/wp-content\/plugins\/shariff-sharing\/backend\/index.php\" data-temp=\"\/tmp\" data-ttl=\"60\" data-service=\"gftr\" data-services='[\"googleplus\",\"facebook\",\"twitter\",\"reddit\",\"info\"]' data-image=\"\" data-url=\"https:\/\/cms.shelquist.us\/?p=790\" data-lang=\"en\" data-theme=\"colored\" data-orientation=\"horizontal\"><\/div><p><a href=\"https:\/\/cms.shelquist.us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/april-foods.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-791\" src=\"https:\/\/cms.shelquist.us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/april-foods.jpg\" alt=\"april foods\" width=\"249\" height=\"202\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>In recognition of April Fool\u2019s Day I thought I would have some fun and list some things you don\u2019t want to hear in a hospital.\u00a0 I have found that humor is a good tool in chaplaincy ministry.\u00a0 Ask any of the employees where I work, they all know I share jokes constantly!<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>THINGS YOU DON\u2019T WANT TO HEAR IN A HOSPITAL:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>A surgeon says \u201cOOPS\u201d during surgery.<\/li>\n<li>The patient who had this procedure lived three whole days afterward.<\/li>\n<li>I am not sure what the right dosage is but this amount ought to help.<\/li>\n<li>A blood sample appears in the lab without any identifying label, and the technician says, \u201cIt must belong to the same patient as the sample next to it.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>The patient enters the hospital and is asked, \u201cWhat funeral home would you like us to call?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Tomorrow I will return to more realistic postings.\u00a0 Enjoy the day!<br \/>\n&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In recognition of April Fool\u2019s Day I thought I would have some fun and list some things you don\u2019t want to hear in a hospital.\u00a0 I have found that humor is a good tool in chaplaincy ministry.\u00a0 Ask any of the employees where I work, they all know I share jokes constantly! &nbsp; THINGS YOU &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/cms.shelquist.us\/?p=790\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Apr. 1 &#8211; April Fools Day<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-790","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cms.shelquist.us\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/790","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cms.shelquist.us\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cms.shelquist.us\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cms.shelquist.us\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cms.shelquist.us\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=790"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/cms.shelquist.us\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/790\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":792,"href":"https:\/\/cms.shelquist.us\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/790\/revisions\/792"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cms.shelquist.us\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=790"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cms.shelquist.us\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=790"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cms.shelquist.us\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=790"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}