Today I write to expose a hoax that has been perpetrated against 120,000 people who bought the book, The Boy who came back from Heaven.   The book details the visions of 1 boy when he died and then came back to life.  The cover of the book, pictured in my post has this testimony on the front cover: A TRUE STORY.

Now we have learned the boy who is the subject of the book has signed a statement detailing how the entire story is a fabrication and not based on any true life experience.  When this was reported in the media the focus of the article was that the boy and his family profited from this deception that may cause readers to have a crisis of faith for believing the material before they learned it was indeed not the truth.

In my dealings with people I have learned over and over that lasting pain, say of periods lasting 20 years or more, can be caused when lies on important topics are presented as fact.  When the topic is religion, regardless of the faith group, people lose trust for religion in general begin to wonder how they can tell, “What they can trust as they read?”

I want to offer this bit of advice to those who have felt betrayed.  Do not lose hope in your faith because of the falsehoods presented by others!  When we lose hope we can become bitter.  Living life from the perspective of bitterness is an unpleasant way to live.  Life can offer much joy but we have to be able to walk away from disappointments knowing that no one can separate us from the love of our Creator without our consent.  By all means do not give that consent!

Today I had my whole day mapped out before I arrived at work.  The items I wanted to accomplish had accumulated during the week.  I only achieved 1 of the items on my list even though I worked the whole 8 hour shift. What happened to my master plan?  Life happened when I needed to respond to new emergent items that I did not anticipate before they happened.

In chaplaincy that is how life is.  We can have a list of worthwhile things we want to accomplish, but we have to practice triage when new items come along throughout the day.  Today triage was the game I played.  I was proud of myself because I did not let the change in plans sour my mood or frustrate me.  I know I can only be in 1 place at 1 time, and as long as I was where I needed to be, it was not important if it where I envisioned being earlier.

That is one of the things that keeps chaplaincy “alive” for me.  It has a movement of its own often with surprising changes to the original plan for the day.  The ability to handle change and not be thrown off by the change is a good skill to develop.  Since I like variety it fits my personality very well.  The next time your day changes from how you thought it would be shaped don’t feel like you are in that boat all alone, many others are in their boat experiencing the same thing.

In every hospital there are employees that responsible for moving patients from one location to another.  At our hospital that department is named: Patient Transport.  All the team members wear yellow shirts to identify themselves to everyone that moving patients is their task.  One of our Patient Transport staff, Shawn, has been with the hospital longer than I have been.  When I was a “new recruit” as a chaplain, he welcomed me and has always been gracious and courteous to me.  We have had many conversations of a minute or less in length as we pass each other in the hallways.  Yet even with these short discussions we have formed a friendship.  Shawn is leaving the hospital to take a job that will place him closer to home.  While I am happy for Shawn I am sad for WMHS because we are losing a team player who cares for staff beyond what is mandated in his job description.

Each of us can do our job and meet the mandates of the job or we can go above the mandates and make real differences in the lives of others.  I like to think I am in that category.  I know Shawn is in this category and it has been my pleasure to work with him!  Good luck in all you do in the future Shawn!!!!!!

This may seem like a strange title for a post.  But please hang in here as you read and I promise to make sense!  When we think of Chaplain Visits we envision them taking place in these settings:

• Patient Rooms
• Waiting Rooms
• Consultation Rooms
• Treatment Areas

Recently I have experienced a significant increase in pastoral care being provided in elevators.  At first this may seem strange because an elevator does not offer either a confidential setting or a long time length for getting to know those who are riding with you.  What usually sparks a conversation that leads to pastoral care is when I see a look of emotion on the face of a rider and ask them how their patient is doing and if I can help in any way.

Frequently these are responses that arise from my simple inquiry:

• I am asked by the family member to visit the patient.
• The family member and I find a secluded place to talk after we exit the elevator if they want to have a conversation that affords privacy and a longer length of time than is available on the elevator.

These elevator encounters then frequently send be back to an area where I have just been because I did not see the patient whose family member I met in the elevator.  I am tempted to write “elevator referral” in the reason for the visit when I document, but don’t because that term is meaningful to me but may have a different definition to someone else who reads my entry.  So I choose the longer description “met family member on elevator and received request to visit patient.”

Even though years ago I would not have guessed the elevator is setting which can start a pastoral care encounter I now know it is.  Furthermore when I am not sure who to visit I often find an elevator ride gives me a new direction to go in making patient visits.  It is funny how a device designed to let us avoid the stairs also can put us in contact with people who can benefit from our caring and tools of compassion!

When I read the newspaper obituary section before going to work today tears formed in my eyes.  One of our Hospice patients that I had grown very close to had died, and reading the obituary was my first news of her death.  This patient and I would meet two times a month and because she outlived her original projected life expectancy, this has been a long-term spiritual care relationship.  On my last visit to her I left convinced in my heart that God was going to call her home soon.  Even with that conviction in my heart, reading the reality caused me to have a stronger emotional response than I anticipated.

In the caregiving setting the stronger the bond between the caregiver and the patient it is often harder to let go when the death of the patient happens.  That is where I am now.  But I know a whole battalion of caregivers has gone before me who have experienced the same emotions and have survived them.  So while this death has really pulled the strings of my heart, I know the discomfort of the moment will not be long lasting.  My prayers go out today to anyone who has been a caregiver and is mourning the loss of their patient.

Tonight I went to a church event where we watched the movie, “God is not Dead”.  The writers of the film were brave to tackle a topic that has been in debate as long as people have existed.  The film put philosophy against religion.  A college freshman had to prove to the other members of the class that his position that God is alive was correct and that the professor’s position that God does not exist was wrong.

The college student had his faith put to the test as his girlfriend ended their relationship over his resistance to abandoning his belief in God.  He was teased by other people.  Perhaps the person, who treated him the worst, was the professor who being the leader should have set an example of maturity and leadership that was sorely lacking in their interactions.

This got me to thinking that we will not have any real peace on earth until we can hold different opinions without resorting to ridiculing and punishing those who disagree with us.  Another name for this is tolerance.  Yet another name is respect.  Respect and tolerance are practiced more on a level of convenience rather than as a basic way to treat everyone.  Whether we believe in God or not; surely we can practice respect and tolerance toward one another.

Jesse Metcalf posted this quote on Twitter on Friday:

“Our fears don’t stop death … they stop life.”  Rickson Gracie (He is a Brazilian martial arts athlete.)

This phrase stuck in my mind throughout the day.  He is correct too much fear can stop us from finding the joy in the present moment.  When we miss the joy of the present, we miss important elements of life.  For balanced living we need a mixture of joys and concerns to occupy our minds.

I put his short simple observation to work and looked for joy as I moved through the hospital here are some joys I found throughout the day:

• Patients being taken to the entrance fully dressed because they were being discharged and they were smiling.
• An employee who was celebrating her 50^th birthday and was not bothered by the number “50”. Coworkers who held a celebration for her at work.
• The cafeteria worker who was smiling as she asked each customer what toppings they wanted on their nachos.
• The smile on the face of a cafeteria customer when I asked her to go ahead of me because she had food for 3 people on her tray and I only had food for 1 on my tray.
• I nurse I don’t see often who said “Hello” and told me she missed seeing over the past few weeks.

I hope this lists helps you make a short list of joys you experience today!

On Tuesday our area was greeted with the largest snow-fall of the winter season.  When I was outside at 2:30 PM I saw a man clearing snow off of two vehicles.  I thought to myself, “That is nice that he cleaning off his friend’s car along with his own”.  At 4:30 PM when I left to go home I realized he had a larger task in mind.  At least 20 employee vehicles that were covered in snow at 2:30 PM (including my own) were now clear and ready to drive.

I termed what this man did as a “REPETIVE ACT OF RANDOM KINDNESS”.  With a Random Act of Kindness you do something for someone with no expectation of credit or being acknowledged for your good work.  That would be definition of clearing one vehicle.  This kind soul went beyond that and cleared many employee vehicles.  That is where the “repetitive” comes into the title because he did the same kind act many times in one setting.

In a world where we tend to hear bad news, I want to share the kindness this man showed as broadly as I am able to.  It is a testimony of how an act of simple kindness can brighten the day for someone else.  If we want to read about good news we have to create it and then we have to encourage others to share it.  I hope reading this post touches your heart as much as mine was touched when my car was cleared of snow and ready for me to drive!

Often patients tell me they are worried.  One option I have is to tell them not to worry.  This is not a good option to follow because worry is the result of the emotion of fear, and emotions can’t be turned off by command.  So how do I respond when someone tells me they are worried?

I ask them to explain what they are worried about.  As they give their explanations usually a few key phrases they speak are fertile ground for conversation.  By listening and responding with open ended questions, people are able to process their emotions and come to a place of better peace than they were before I entered the room.

One frustration I have is when the conversation reveals deep friction between members of a family.  When a patient has cancer, cardiac issues, or pulmonary issues; the last thing they need to worry about is drama caused by other members of the family.  The family drama saps their energy when it is already at a low level anyway.

I am a firm believer that there are two sides to every interaction and it takes both participants to work to get along.  So I am not saying the patient has no responsibility for the friction that exists.  At times of illness; it is helpful if family members can declare a truce.  Set the issues that caused the division aside and work on supporting the family member who is the patient.  It takes maturity, sensitivity, and discipline to make any truce work.  The benefit of placing less emotional stress on the patient is well worth the effort when there is a strong likelihood that the health of the patient will be better when the stress level is reduced.

The image in this post is the scene at the VA Hospital in El Paso, Texas yesterday after an “active shooter” entered the building.  Many details of the event are still being discovered.  What we do know is that the shooter and 1 physician have died.  This news item caught my attention for two reasons:

• It took place in a hospital and I work in a hospital.
• In November I prepared and presented training to our chaplain volunteers on our hospital’s protocol in “active shooter” events.

First, I want to affirm to all my readers that I am praying for the victims who not only include the two people who died and their families.  My list also includes all those who were in the hospital building that day and were gripped by fear when they realized something very dangerous was unfolding in the building.  People come to any hospital for healing.  No one comes expecting to be traumatized by an act of violence while they are there.  For patients who were not mobile or who move slowly they were probably afraid to remain where they were but also felt unable to move to a location with more safety.  This is partially because if they did not know the location of the shooter it would be impossible to know what locations would be safe and which locations would be unsafe.

The news media will inform us of the basic details of what happened as those details are released by investigators.  This may not be of a lot comfort to those who were there and have the vivid memories of the fear they felt.  Chaplains and counselors I am sure will be available to provide attentive reflective listening and other valuable comfort to those who take advantage of their presence.  Chaplains and counselors can’t prevent these tragedies but we can be part of the recovery process for those who experienced the unexpected fear and trauma of the day.