I have been debating for the last 2 years on whether to purchase a new table and chairs for my kitchen.  I knew the set I was using needed to be replaced.  What finally forced my mind into making a decision was the fact I will be entertaining company from out of state at the end of June.  Including myself we will have 4 people at the table.  My old set only had seating for 2 people.

Until I started looking I had no idea how much variety there was in furniture design.  The total number of options available to me in my price range was overwhelming.  I finally selected a rectangular table with a cherry top and legs that are painted black.  The seats of the chairs are also cherry and the frames of the chairs are painted black.  Yesterday the set was delivered 3 weeks earlier than promised by the store.  (I was really surprised by the speed of delivery.)

Just as I was taking in the visual image of the set in the kitchen I let my dog into the room from the basement where he was sequestered during the delivery process.  He immediately looked at this new furniture, then looked at me with a look that said, “These things don’t belong here.”  My first though was, “they do now”.  The furniture gives the kitchen a look of completeness that it was lacking previously.  I now feel ready to entertain people not just the expected company in June but others who will undoubtedly come to the house over time.

Jesus calls us to welcome others into our homes.  Is there something that is keeping you from inviting people into your home?  Is there a way you can make changes so that you will be in an inviting mood?  Take a lesson from me and make the required change.  It will lift your spirits more than I can describe!

Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) is the formal training most chaplains receive in preparation for caring for people using the title Chaplain.  One of the basic premises of CPE is that the patients are our textbooks.  What this means is that as we interact with patients we learn from them in the same way you read a textbook to learn about history or some other topic.

This week one patient reminded me of just how much we in chaplaincy have to learn from those people we encounter.  Near the end of the visit I asked the patient if I could pray. (This is a typical question to ask.)  The patient gave the answer, “You can pray for me as long as you pray for all the other patients in the hospital as well”. (This response is not typical.)  It is rare when people in the hospital ask for prayers for the whole hospital or even all of the patients in the hospital.

Compassion and caring for others is often set aside when we are feeling poorly ourselves.  This patient who had some real discomfort did not forget about all the other patients and the need for healing that they were experiencing.  I was thrilled to offer such an inclusive prayer.  I was also humbled because I had moved into a “one patient at a time” mentality rather than thinking globally about all the patients as I prayed.  This encounter will stick with me for a long time.  I hope it offers you the opportunity to widen your prayer perspective.

Yesterday the world learned of the death of Maya Angelou.  I have to admit that I have not followed her writings while she was living.  But upon her death I have read quoted segments from various things she wrote.

Two of the quotes I read I am posting below:

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”  – Interview for Beautifully Said Magazine (2012)

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”  – Excerpted from Letter to My Daughter, a book of essays (2009)

These quotes I have chosen I selected because they describe the mindset you need to have to be effective as a chaplain.  Chaplains deal with people and their feelings, often at emotionally difficult periods in their lives.  Chaplains also attempt to encourage people.  Helping people accept that not everything is in our control is a task we encounter frequently.

Reading Maya’s quotes has reminded me of my calling as a Chaplain.  It also reminds me of my calling as a Christian because though I do these things in my employment, I also practice them as part of my daily walk with Christ in all the places that I find myself.

Maya gives us good advice.  I hope we can honor her contribution to the world by practicing these two precepts as often as possible.

Today is a day when many people in the USA proudly display their flag as a symbol of pride in our nation.  On this weekend displaying it is also a gesture of respect for those who fought and others fought and died for our republic.  My family of origin has members who have served in the military even though I have not shared that experience.  I know I can fully understand what Memorial Day means to a veteran.  But I want to use this space, this day, to say thank you to all who have served our nation.  Have safe Memorial Day Weekend!

Today is the third day of a seven day visit with my son Erik who lives in St. Louis.  I have taken these days off from the hospital so we can have the maximum time together while he is here.  Today we had what he used to call a “lazy day” when he was age 7 or 8.  I am blessed that we can enjoy each other’s company without having to be doing something pre-planned like attending a movie or a play.  Today as we were relaxing he asked me what church we were attending on Sunday.  I notice the way he posed the question he implied were attending church as a certainty.  I asked him if he was asking because he wanted to worship or if he just assumed I had made that decision for us.  He replied that he did really want to attend worship.  Just hearing him say that made me feel good.  I felt good because a priority of mine has been adopted by him by choice rather than duress or bargaining  So tomorrow we plan to attend Centre Street UMC.

What blessing awaits us there is yet to be seen.  But I know just having him with me will be a blessing.   The fact that I have no responsibility during the service and can sit with him in the pew will be an extra blessing.  For the years I served local churches I was always on the altar and he was always somewhere in the congregation.  Worshiping together in the same pew, sharing a hymnal, and reading the prayers together will be a time of bonding for us as well as a time of giving glory to God!  Even though today is Saturday, I am GLAD that Sunday is coming!

I am facing a significant change in my spiritual life starting in June.  Rev. Ann Atkins has been pastor at Centre Street United Methodist Church in Cumberland where I have attended since moving to Cumberland in October 2010.  She and I have enjoyed a friendship as professional colleagues and as personal friends.  She and her husband Hal and son Daniel have welcomed me into their home and we have enjoyed many meals in local restaurants.  In June Ann’s tenure at Centre Street UMC will be concluding.  I am thankful she will still be in the area, but attending events at Centre Street including worship will not be the same without her.  I have to confess I have considered finding a different church once she leaves.  I have rejected that option for many reasons.  The most important reason to me is that I have other significant relationships at Centre Street and have made commitments through leadership positions I have accepted, and I don’t want lose those relationships or break the promises I have made.

Each Christian has to take responsibility for nurturing their faith.  For me part of the nurturing involves active participation in a local congregation.  I also nurture my faith through writing a journal and through study of Scripture.  This week has been a pivotal time for me because I have decided it is time for me to cease “fighting change” and start “accepting change”.  Even though losing Pastor Ann was not my choice, it is still a reality for the congregation.  I am fortunate that I will be able to remain in contact and connection with her and her family.  Even though that will be different than having her as my pastor, she can still be a confidant and someone whose opinions I respect and whom I can turn to for advice or simply to share in a confidential manner the events of the week.

As I think about this change I am processing I know that family members and patients I meet everyday are also processing change.  Part of my ministry to help them process changes in their lives as they open up to me and share their situation.  I have felt a bit like a failure the past few weeks as I have been attempting to help others process change while I was stuck being able to accept the changes in my spiritual life created by Pastor’s Ann’s leaving our church.

When I return to the hospital and to hospice following this week of vacation I feel I will be able to be more effective because of my move from fighting change to accepting change.  This recent battle with change also will help me understand why change can be a true burden to others until they are able to work through it.  I think I will be more sensitive to the emotions they feel and more likely to be able to pause with them as they sort out what they should do in response to the change they face.

How do you handle change?  Are there any changes in your life that you would like to write about for the readers of the blog to learn from?  Please post if you feel so led so we can all learn from each other.  God bless you!!

Today my son from St. Louis arrived for a week-long visit.  This is the first trip he has made here since I adopted my basset hound Cooper.  Sadly Cooper had been abused before I adopted him through a local rescue shelter.  Because of his abuse Cooper can be accepting of new people or very antagonistic.  So far in the 18 months Cooper has lived with me he has not displayed much consistency in who he accepts and who he rejects.

My challenge, so I thought, was to find a method to introduce Cooper to my son in a manner where Cooper would accept him.  I had my son stand on the side walk in front of the house.  Cooper and I left via the back door and came down the alley and encountered my son.  To my surprise Cooper went right up to him and laid his head against my son’s leg literally begging to be petted.  They got along famously on our walk.

Then we entered the house and my son had the audacity of laying down on the sofa that Cooper considers “his”.  I was in the kitchen and suddenly heard the loud barking/growling and could not imagine what was the matter.  My son had a look of confusion on his face which literally conveyed the question, “What did I do to set Cooper off?”  I explained Cooper considers that sofa his personal property.  My son offered to move and I said no, Cooper needs to learn to share.  In a few minutes I got Cooper quieted down which was a breath of fresh air for both humans in the house.  Cooper did not like giving up exclusive rights to the sofa.

So are you wondering how did things worked out?  It is now 6 hours later and my son and Cooper are both sleeping on “Cooper’s sofa” and all is right in the world.  The answer was letting Cooper learn that I was very pleased with my son being here.  Once Cooper saw that I was not in danger, he accepted my son.  It is nice to have a protector.  This prompted me to think about the Heavenly Protector that loves us, God.  Fortunately God does not bark, but God does give us wisdom to know when a situation is safe or dangerous.  I feel blessed to not only have God looking out for my safety but to also have Cooper  being on duty to protect me from any “strangers” that dare to enter the house.  May all of you whom have had pets thank God for the blessing your pets are to you!  Amen!  Feel free to post how you feel protected by your pet.  We can all be inspired as we read each others experiences.

The graphic above was posted on Twitter by our denominational headquarters in Nashville, TN.  It made me laugh because now that I am in extension ministry I am not wondering if the District Superintendent will suddenly call me to tell I have a new church I will be moving to in July.  Also the Annual Conference session does not impact my ministry in healthcare as dramatically as it did when I served local churches.  The things we talk about at Annual Conference just are not as relevant to patients as they are to church members.  Also at the hospital United Methodist members are a small percentage of the total number of patients.  In any local United Methodist Church 90% or more of those present are generally members of the United Methodist Church.

Extension ministry does take the vital ministry of the church from inside the walls of the church and move it into a setting where I can on a daily basis interact with people who have no church affiliation or regular church attendance pattern.  The conversations I am able to have with patients about why they believe in God but are not motivated to be a part of the local church (any denomination) are interesting.  Some have gotten angry and stopped attending.  Some have just gotten out of the habit of attending.  Some have found the services don’t have meaning to them.  Even with all these reasons for not attending church, patients are very happy when I offer to pray for them.  Chaplaincy gives me the opportunity to pray with people and present the church in a way where they can see me follow the example of Christ in taking the message into the world.

Chaplains are no different than other people, we all have days where things do not go well.  Last week I had the constant frustration of my cell phone battery losing 50% of its power in the first 4 hours of the day.  I went to the store and it was under warrant which saved me the cost of buying a new phone.  The service center shipped me a replacement.  It arrived today via Federal Express.  After work I went to the store to have them transfer all my data from the old phone to the new phone.  “Transferring all data” sounds easy, doesn’t it?

What I learned is that “all” did not mean everything.  All my pictures moved from phone to phone, all 93 of them.  But I had them sorted into directories.  On the new phone all my sorting had been undone.  I also use 50+ Android apps on the phone.  Instead of them moving automatically and at one time, each app downloaded separately.  Half the apps did not download on their own and I had to select each one separately and then download them.  Part of what did not move was my ringtone selections, wallpaper design, settings I use for the phone for appearance and functions.  In the end it took me several hours to get the phone 80% restored to the way I had the old phone configured.

As I thought about this frustration with change I realized that helping patient’s deal with change is one of the most important things chaplains try to accomplish.  In a way my cell phone was the illness, and I was the patient waiting for healing and recovery to take place. I needed a chaplain to pray with me to remain calm instead get frustrated.  It would have been nice to have a chaplain to talk to while I was waiting for the seemingly endless amount of time it took for each item to download.

Please write a reply describing a “starting over” experience you have encountered and what skills or resources you used to cope with it.  We can all learn from each other!  Have a great week!

It sometimes happens that a patient is discharged from Hospice and the patient moves to a different care setting, for example a nursing home.  One of our families has a member at a nursing home.  I encountered this family during an inpatient admission shortly after moving to Maryland.  I remember their having a wedding anniversary party in the hospital room.  The family has continued to call me invite me to come visit.  Since the patient is not in our program, I visit on my own time.  It has been nearly two months since I last saw the patient.  Saturday night I dreamed the patient died and I had not gotten to see him.  So this afternoon after mowing the grass, I showered and went to the nursing home to visit.  The patient and spouse were both there.  We hugged and I could tell that my simply walking in the room lifted their spirits.  What an awesome privilege to brighten the day for someone simply by being there!  We had a 90 minute visit and all three of us were feeling better as I was leaving.  The spirit of koinonia that we shared reminded me the spirit of “one accord” that is described in chapter two of the Book of Acts.  A feeling of bond and love that existed in the early church still exists today when we grow in relationship to one another!  Now I am curious, who are you sharing koinonia with these days?  Please reply and those who are reading along be blessed by your responses!