Today is the final day of the year.  Like many of you I am dealing with the fact that there are many projects I intended to complete in 2014 and in the remaining hours of the year I realize I won’t be able to complete.  Some of the assignments I regret not completing the most are visits to patients that could not be completed.  I wonder what beautiful congregations I have missed by not having these visits.  I hope I am able to connect with these families in 2015.  My best wishes go to all my readers as you prepare to enter the New Year.

At our hospital we utilize lay people to be “Prayer Partners”.  These people are assigned to our Same Day Surgery, Cancer Center, and Outpatient Dialysis Units.  Their task is an important one but yet it is so simple.  They approach patients and ask if they would like to talk or have prayer as they are waiting.  Patients respond positively to these offers of support in these settings.  The reason this is a simple ministry for our volunteers is that they have a strong faith and are already comfortable meeting strangers and praying publicly before they are placed in this role.  This week we had a new person apply for this volunteer ministry.  It was exciting to see the volunteer explain the joy received in the process of praying for and with others.  In the past several months I had prayed for the spouse of this volunteer during the spouses inpatient admission and that encounter prompted the interest in being a Prayer Partner.  That is the great dynamic about ministry, when people experience it then they desire to be a part of it.  It is one of those things where the experience of the moment is much more powerful than simply reading a description of the moment like you are doing now.  I share this because it brightens my day when other people want to volunteer their time to help us provide pastoral care to our patients.

When a person dies it is customary in the United States to hold a Memorial or Funeral Service.  These services have the dual purpose of:

• Honoring the life of the person who has died.
• Giving those who survive the deceased an opportunity to have a formal moment of closure.

Sometimes people request that no service of any type be held after their death.  When I ask people why they feel this way, the two most common responses are:

• I don’t want my body on display after I die.
• A service is just too much effort for others; I was to exit earth without a lot of activity.

I believe in honoring the wishes of the deceased as funeral or memorial services are planned.  That is why I think it is crucially important to have these discussions with those we love before they die.  If they are of the opinion a service would be a burden for those who survive them, the survivors have the opportunity to share why they want to have a service and why it will benefit them.

I recently had a patient die that I had grown quite close to during our chaplain – patient relationship.  We had discussed many things about events in her life that were important to her.  We had discussed salvation and how much she loved God, even though she made mistakes in her life.  I assured here that there has never been a person die that has not made mistakes.  Our mistakes are not barriers from God due to God’s grace and willingness to forgive.

Since this patient has chosen not to have a service either funeral or memorial, I find myself without a formal way to bid a farewell to her.  So I am writing this blog to express my sense of loss and also offer a positive reason for why funerals and memorial services are important.  I hope this article helps at least one person as they plan for their exit from earth and entry to the Heavenly Kingdom!

At our Christmas Eve Service last night the pastor talked about a “Muddled Christmas”.  A “muddled” is one where one or more important things don’t go correctly.  The picture I posted is obviously showing the cook is aghast at the appearance of her turkey as it roasts in the oven.  The point of Christmas is that its true meaning and purpose still happens even when:

• Our menu is messed up somehow.
• Our gifts are not wrapped and sent on time.
• Our Christmas cards are sent late.
• Or when any meaningful element of our celebration is somehow not up to our expectations for it.

The reason a “muddled” Christmas is okay is that no matter what flaws arise in our plans and preparations Jesus is still born to fulfill God’s plan.  Through Christ we still have forgiveness of sin and guarantee of eternal life with God.

Many times I encounter families who find they are in less than ideal situations as Christmas approaches.  One of the most difficult scenarios is when a loved one has died or is declining toward death on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.  To make myself clear, I do not consider this a minor challenge.  It also is a challenge that God will help us meet.  The promises that God makes to us about salvation and our place in the heavenly kingdom are still true and we can depend on them.  By offering family members love and support all of us can help them shoulder the emotional burden they face and remind them of their faith and what it promises.

I was thankful to have this reminder in worship that Christmas can be perfect even when our preparations for it fail to meet our expectations and desires.  That is because Jesus Christ lives today!  Amen.

When most of us think of celebrating Christmas we think of being in our home with family and friends coming or going to another home where people we love will be gathering.  Throughout our nation there are families whose plans have been changed when they realize one of their members will be in the hospital for Christmas.  I have talked with some of those families.  I was expecting the conversations to possibly focus on how the hospitalization would have a negative effect on their plans.

To my pleasant surprise they talked about how the main point of Christmas is having Christ in your heart, and what better place to have Christ in your heart than when you are in a hospital with an intentional focus on being healed.  Their observation is so correct, even though we place so much emphasis on wrapping and opening gifts, preparing special foods, and enjoying sentimental decorations – these things are not the meaning or purpose of Christmas.  Christmas is a time to cherish the gift of Jesus Christ and give God thanks for what has been done for the world through Christ.  I am thankful as a Chaplain that I had the opportunity to see families remind me of this lesson as I have visited with them this week.  To all my readers, I wish you a Merry Christmas wherever you will be celebrating the day!

For those of you who have been trying to follow my blog you are probably wondering why have I taken a second break in daily posting.  I have been the victim of faulty repair of my car following my recent auto collision.  The fumes from freon that were finding their way into the passenger compartment were giving me these site effects:

• Pronounced sleepiness
• Headaches
• Nausea

They were causing me to have trouble in a lot of areas of my life, including thinking clearly enough to enjoy writing.

To make a long story short yesterday I took the car back to the dealership for them to look at it.  Their service tech could not guarantee the source of all the fumes was eliminated.  I so went the manger of the dealership and told her I did not feel safe in my car, and was not leaving in it until I had 100% the problem was solved.  She asked me what she could do to make the situation right, and I told her I needed out of the car.  She was able to trade me into a 2015 model with the same equipment as my car.  She made a deal that gave significant reductions in the cost of the car.  I expected to have to pick the new car up the next day, but she said they would get it ready for me to take home that evening.  Employees at the dealership stayed late after the dealership was closed for the day to complete the steps necessary for delivery.  This is a fantastic example of customer service and last night was the first night I have not gone to bed worried about having to use what I was calling “the fume mobile” the following day.

This experience shows what my patients face everyday, unexpected events.  As a chaplain I try to offer my patients grace and caring as they deal with their unexpected life events.

When I arrived at the hotel in St. Louis I noticed things were not what I was expecting.  In a 500 room hotel, there were only 4 cars in the parking lot.  The desk clerk told me that had received many cancellations, and she was surprised I was keeping my reservation and checking in.  During the three days at the hotel I did not see another guest the whole time and I did not ever see more than 5 cars in the parking lot.  For me it was my most unusual experience.

The desk clerk identified the reason for the high number of cancellations as fear in the minds of those cancelling that the hotel was too close to Ferguson and that they might not be safe staying there.  This hotel was by the Lambert Airport and was more than 10 miles from Ferguson.  I considered that a safe distance, but apparently many people did not consider that a safe distance.

By now you are probably wondering if I was being brave or careless by checking in and keeping my reservation.  The reality of the protest situation is that during the three days I was in St. Louis there were protests in various areas of the city, so there was no way to predict where you could locate yourself and be assured that you would not encounter protesters.  I chose to try to do as many of the activities that were a part of my plans, while being watchful for signs of anything that appeared dangerous or in some way out of order.

Fear is a strong emotion.  When we cave into it completely we deprive ourselves of joys we can experience while still being responsible and safe.  Reflecting on the trip now that I am home I am glad fear did not control my life while I was visiting.  It is a reminder to me that we have to use knowledge and safe practices to respond to fear instead of sequestering ourselves in the attempt to be safe at any cost.

I have taken a much longer break from blogging than I had intended.  At first my break was caused by travel for Thanksgiving to St. Louis, MO.  After I returned I had a cold which took me a week to recover from and while I had it really zapped my energy.  Tomorrow I will return to making daily posts.  To those who have missed my postings, please accept my apology.

The picture of the 2014 Ford Explorer is the rental car I drove for 20 days while my Altima was in the body shop being repaired from a collision.  That whole process also took a toll on my energy and creativity.  And driving the Explorer to MO and back was much more expensive than driving my Altima if it had been available.  I am hoping that I have no more negative experiences as I move toward Christmas and celebrating the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ.