When most of us think of celebrating Christmas we think of being in our home with family and friends coming or going to another home where people we love will be gathering. Throughout our nation there are families whose plans have been changed when they realize one of their members will be in the hospital for Christmas. I have talked with some of those families. I was expecting the conversations to possibly focus on how the hospitalization would have a negative effect on their plans.
To my pleasant surprise they talked about how the main point of Christmas is having Christ in your heart, and what better place to have Christ in your heart than when you are in a hospital with an intentional focus on being healed. Their observation is so correct, even though we place so much emphasis on wrapping and opening gifts, preparing special foods, and enjoying sentimental decorations – these things are not the meaning or purpose of Christmas. Christmas is a time to cherish the gift of Jesus Christ and give God thanks for what has been done for the world through Christ. I am thankful as a Chaplain that I had the opportunity to see families remind me of this lesson as I have visited with them this week. To all my readers, I wish you a Merry Christmas wherever you will be celebrating the day!
For those of you who have been trying to follow my blog you are probably wondering why have I taken a second break in daily posting. I have been the victim of faulty repair of my car following my recent auto collision. The fumes from freon that were finding their way into the passenger compartment were giving me these site effects:
Pronounced sleepiness
Headaches
Nausea
They were causing me to have trouble in a lot of areas of my life, including thinking clearly enough to enjoy writing.
To make a long story short yesterday I took the car back to the dealership for them to look at it. Their service tech could not guarantee the source of all the fumes was eliminated. I so went the manger of the dealership and told her I did not feel safe in my car, and was not leaving in it until I had 100% the problem was solved. She asked me what she could do to make the situation right, and I told her I needed out of the car. She was able to trade me into a 2015 model with the same equipment as my car. She made a deal that gave significant reductions in the cost of the car. I expected to have to pick the new car up the next day, but she said they would get it ready for me to take home that evening. Employees at the dealership stayed late after the dealership was closed for the day to complete the steps necessary for delivery. This is a fantastic example of customer service and last night was the first night I have not gone to bed worried about having to use what I was calling “the fume mobile” the following day.
This experience shows what my patients face everyday, unexpected events. As a chaplain I try to offer my patients grace and caring as they deal with their unexpected life events.
When I arrived at the hotel in St. Louis I noticed things were not what I was expecting. In a 500 room hotel, there were only 4 cars in the parking lot. The desk clerk told me that had received many cancellations, and she was surprised I was keeping my reservation and checking in. During the three days at the hotel I did not see another guest the whole time and I did not ever see more than 5 cars in the parking lot. For me it was my most unusual experience.
The desk clerk identified the reason for the high number of cancellations as fear in the minds of those cancelling that the hotel was too close to Ferguson and that they might not be safe staying there. This hotel was by the Lambert Airport and was more than 10 miles from Ferguson. I considered that a safe distance, but apparently many people did not consider that a safe distance.
By now you are probably wondering if I was being brave or careless by checking in and keeping my reservation. The reality of the protest situation is that during the three days I was in St. Louis there were protests in various areas of the city, so there was no way to predict where you could locate yourself and be assured that you would not encounter protesters. I chose to try to do as many of the activities that were a part of my plans, while being watchful for signs of anything that appeared dangerous or in some way out of order.
Fear is a strong emotion. When we cave into it completely we deprive ourselves of joys we can experience while still being responsible and safe. Reflecting on the trip now that I am home I am glad fear did not control my life while I was visiting. It is a reminder to me that we have to use knowledge and safe practices to respond to fear instead of sequestering ourselves in the attempt to be safe at any cost.
I have taken a much longer break from blogging than I had intended. At first my break was caused by travel for Thanksgiving to St. Louis, MO. After I returned I had a cold which took me a week to recover from and while I had it really zapped my energy. Tomorrow I will return to making daily posts. To those who have missed my postings, please accept my apology.
The picture of the 2014 Ford Explorer is the rental car I drove for 20 days while my Altima was in the body shop being repaired from a collision. That whole process also took a toll on my energy and creativity. And driving the Explorer to MO and back was much more expensive than driving my Altima if it had been available. I am hoping that I have no more negative experiences as I move toward Christmas and celebrating the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ.
In Hospice many of the people who provide the 24 care for the patient are family members. While they are not ill, being on duty constantly for a sick family member is emotionally, physically, and spiritually draining. So each person who provides care needs to come up with plans for their own self-care. Another word we use for this is “respite”. Respite is a chance to be off-duty and do something meaningful to you. For some situations this takes the form of a scheduled relief person to come into the home so the care-giver can get out of the house to attend an event or simply to relax. The longer the illness goes on the more important it is for the person providing care to intentionally think about their own needs and make plans to meet them. I always encourage people to get short breaks from their home care responsibility and paint it for them in terms of caring for themselves is also a way of caring for the patient because patients don’t want to perceive themselves as being a burden to those they love. When I hear stories of people getting their first respite break and how energized it empowered them to be I congratulate them. Inside I feel glad that they decided to take care of their own needs as well as those of the patient.
This brings me to my question for the day, “What do you need to do today to care for yourself?” It is a question that none of us should overlook whether or not we are providing health care to a family member.
By taking the time to write someone a thank you note several things are accomplished:
Appreciation is extended.
The writer of the note feels uplifted.
The recipient of the note is encouraged by your taking time to note what they did and in the process has more “fuel” for doing the same thing in the future.
I recently sent a thank you note to a coworker in another office building. I had the chance to visit her cubicle and noticed the thank you note I sent was posted above her desk for all to see. She saw me glancing at the note and told me how much it made her day.
Do you want to make someone’s day? If so you have the power, send a thank you note!
One of the hospital committees I serve on is the Joint Commission Department Guides. We meet 4 times per year and work on keeping our departments up-to-date on things we need to do to be in compliance. At our last meeting we looked at the protocols for an active shooter at the hospital. Today I presented the preparedness training to our volunteer chaplains. We made this a mandatory meeting so everyone would have the information they need to protect themselves and others. Ideally no one would have to prepare for such a situation, but the news shows us each week that someplace someone puts others in danger through use of deadly force. We talked about the emotions that you would feel in such a situation. We began by watching a re-enactment of a situation. In this situation the active shooter was able to make it from the front door of the hospital to the 4th floor of the hospital and to the door to the room where his intended victim was located in 90 seconds. Our group was surprised how quickly these situations develop. The good thing about the training is now our chaplains know how they can protect themselves and when they hear pages they will know what the page is telling them to do. When we take as much fear and confusion as possible out of a crisis situation, it is better for everyone!
Today in church our pastor preached on the parable of the talents. In that parable there is a right master who leaves 3 servants in charge of property and wealth and later returns to see how much each has earned for him. Two of the servants work hard and produce income for the master. The 3rd buries the wealth in the ground so when the master returns he has exactly what he had when he left. Our pastor asked to consider how we feel the master would treat the imaginary 4th servant. This servant invested all the resources in the stock market and lost everything.
I was really surprised by the proposal of the 4th servant and how he handled the resources entrusted to him. What the illustration opened up to me is that in many situations there are people involved who we do not think about. We don’t consider their presence or their perspective on what is happening in the situation. In my work with families I often find out during a conversation that there is someone else in the family who is also hurting and who needs prayer. One way I find this out is by asking before pray, “Is there anything else we need to pray for besides your health?” Often I find out the family has another member who is much more ill than the patient I am visiting. Families are always pleased that I think to ask if there is more we should pray for when I am with them. My learning from these situations that was prompted by the sermon is: Just because we don’t see a sign of a need does not mean it does not exist. I hope to be even more effective in seeking out these needs and help people cope with them.
You would not think that a tow truck and a funeral would have anything in common! Neither did I until today! I was driving from the hospital to a funeral home to conduct a funeral for a hospice patient. Suddenly a car hit the left front bumper of my car and spun around in a circle. The fiberglass front bumper and grille assembly fell off my vehicle onto the roadway leaving me unable to move the vehicle. Some kind soul called 911 and within minutes we had an ambulance, fire truck, and three police cars on the scene. I was the only driver in my vehicle and the other vehicle was only occupied by the driver. The driver of that car accepted transport to the Emergency Room. I declined transport because I was not hurt only frantic to get to the funeral. Knowing I had 25 minutes to reach the funeral home before the service started I called the hospital switchboard and asked the operator to call the funeral home and explain what happened but that I promised I would arrive. Six employees of the funeral home were standing on the front porch as I arrived delivered to them by a police officer in a marked squad car. My car was towed to a local repair shop. Following the service one of the family members took me to the rental car franchise office so I could receive a car to drive until my car is ready to drive again.
The family was very gracious and understanding about my being late. Everyone asked me if I was hurt and was glad to hear I was not hurt. In the funeral sermon I came upon a sentence I wrote which talked about driving because the deceased did quite a bit of driving. I had to pause before I read it because it applied so appropriately to my experience getting to the funeral. I was sure I had done a mediocre job leading the service because of the internal anxiety and adrenaline I had racing through my mind. I was shocked as the funeral home staff and many attendees told me they were impressed with how calm and thoughtful I was as I lead the service. If only they had been inside my mind, I imagine their comments would be much different. Saturday I plan to get some rest and also to celebrate the grace I received from people and the grace of God that was surely with me today.
I use a GPS device to guide to homes the first time I visit them as a Hospice Chaplain. Most of the times the device is a convenience and gets me to where I am going with ease. However there are those times when the device apparently does not have the information it needs and says I have arrived when I can tell with my eyes I am not where I want to be.
When the device gives me this message I get frustrated and then try to determine what I have to do to arrive where I am headed. It is easy when the GPS is simply 50 feet off and I can see where I am supposed to be. There was one time when I was in the rural Barton area, when the device told me to turn right onto a road that did not exist. It took determination that time to turn around and go back until the first time I could turn right. Then I re-engaged the GPS and it directed me to the house I was headed to. Apparently Route 36 and this road whose name I don’t know were close enough together that the GPS thought they were the same road.
The point of this post is to remind us any time we are given information we must analyze if it is reliable or not. We can use whatever tools we have at our disposal to make this choice. Most of the time I find common sense is the best tool to use in these situations.
