I spent two days this week at an education event which had an emphasis on the important of listening as people tell their story. In many stories people choose to tell you can gain insight into the subtext which they have not told. In many cases being able to give voice to these subtext stories can produce the most emotional healing and benefit for the person. So for a chaplain or other care provider to recognize where there is a subtext story and invite the person to discuss it processing the memory can produce emotional healing.
One the most stubborn impediments to listening is the fact that many times we are in the process of forming our response before the person we are listening to has completely finished their sentence. Effective listening includes waiting to even form a response until the person who is speaking has finished what they are saying.
The event was very helpful to me and I can see that it will assist me in being a better chaplain in the future. The lesson from the event can help anyone be a better listener and have more substantial conversations with those people we meet. Here is a test of how well you listen. The next time you are listening monitor yourself and see if you start to form your response while the person is still speaking. If you do that, then you need to resist the urge to form your response until the person is done speaking.
On the NBC news this week several stories have been broadcast about Blue Zones. A Blue Zone is the name attached to several hot spots around the world where people have the longest longevity of life. The Blue Zones organization studies what dynamics create this longevity and then introduce them to communities who want to improve the longevity and health quality of their population.
One new city entering this program is Fort Worth, Texas. One of the learnings from Blue Zones is that consumption of red meat (including beef) needs to be kept in a proper proportion to the other foods you eat. Fort Worth is in the heart of “Cattle Country”, so suggesting any reduction in the consumption of red meat is an upward battle. But the community with the support of Blue Zones is taking on this difficult assignment as a way to make their community a healthier place to live. I have to applaud any group that works to improve the health of others. It was good to learn about their work by watching the evening news this week.
I have never had a PET scan. I have been with many people who have gone through this diagnostic procedure. One of the things they share in common is wondering what the result of the scan will be. They also wonder what treatment will be suggested when they consult with the oncologist. This image example of a PET scan image. It is funny how when the image is of a stranger you can look at it with curiosity and wonder. When the image is your image or the image of someone you love the intensity of emotion that you feel and the fear of what you will be told increase exponentially.
When being with patients I seek to find from them what gives them comfort. Many reply that just having someone with them so they are not going through the experience alone makes all the difference. Others depend on their faith and have everyone they know praying for them. When I offer a prayer you can see expression contentment come across their face. The tools of presence, listening and when requested – prayer, can make all the difference to someone who is facing the unknown ahead of them.
I have often dealt with patients who have just begun physical therapy. They tell me they know it is important but doing the therapy is painful and exhausting as they begin. I have always told them that their therapist won’t push them farther than it is safe for them to go. I have also encouraged them that as time moves forward and they have more practice the exercises will become easier for them.
Now I am involved in a 12 preparation for a 5K run. Today starts week three. For the first week we ran 30 seconds and then walked 30 seconds for 20 minutes with a .5 mile walk prior to and following run/walk sequence. The second week we used the time of 60 seconds in place of 90 seconds. Now this week we will be using 90 seconds as our time interval.
Just as I start to feel comfortable with the routine, the routine changes becoming progressively more exerting. Now a lot of the comments patients have made to me about their therapy make a lot more sense to me. In addition to the physical health benefits of this class, the class is making me a better chaplain for my patients. Literally it is hard to understand what some really feels until, “you walk a mile in their shoes”!
I visit a lot of patients who have experienced surgeries that had a desirable outcome. Even though when I see them they still pain from the incision area they express genuine gratitude for the surgeon and others who take care of them. The picture above which was not taken at our hospital illustrates this dynamic.
Grateful patients I often think are unaware of the gift they give to the members of their treatment team. Everyone likes to be appreciated. That is true regardless of your occupation. Healthcare becomes a more demanding environment to work in each year. So in a more demanding environment when a patient shows genuine gratitude it gifts a sense of reaffirmation to those who feel called to their role in healthcare.
One way patients can shape the atmosphere in healthcare is to show gratitude when it is deserved. It inspires the providers to continue to give excellent service and at times encourages them to go to a higher effort to produce comfort for their patients. When I see a staff member come out of a room smiling, they take that smile into the next patient’s room. Gratitude is powerful when shared and not nearly as difficult to share as the benefits it produces.
One of my assignments is training our weekend and evening Chaplain Associates how to use the electronic medical record to enter their visits to patients. We are implementing new changes to the screens this week. So tonight we are meeting in our Information Technology Classroom where everyone will be able to watch in the screen as I explain the changes to the screen and the responses entered.
We will also get to improve the consistency of entries by going through some common situations and showing the preferred way of making these entries. Each Chaplain will be given a scenario and then will direct me on what they would enter in the computer. Before save the entry I will show the preferred way if the entries they give vary from our format. All of this is being done on a test system so it will not affect the data of any patient.
Teaching is small part of the time allotment of my job description. However I do enjoy the time to teach and to listen to students which in the end helps everyone on our team work in synchronization, which is difficult since we also work so independently.
When everything was dark
and it seemed that the sun would never shine again,
your love broke through.
Your love was too strong,
too wide,
too deep
for death to hold.
The sparks cast by your love
dance and spread
and burst forth
with resurrection light.
Gracious God,
We praise you for the light of new life
made possible through Jesus.
We praise you for the light of new life
that shone on the first witnesses of resurrection.
We praise you for the light of new life
that continues to shine in our hearts today.
We pray that the Easter light of life, hope and joy,
will live in us each day;
and that we will be bearers of that light
into the lives of others.
Amen.
This is an Easter Morning Prayer used in the Methodist Church in the United Kingdom.
OGod, Creator of heaven and earth: Grant that, as the crucified body of your dear Son was laid in the tomb and rested on this holy Sabbath, so we may await with him the coming of the third day, and rise with him to newness of life; who now lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.
I am posting this prayer which I have borrowed from the liturgy of the Roman Catholic Church.
O Jesus,
it is not the heavenly reward You have promised
which impels me to love You;
neither is it the threat of hell
that keeps me from offending You.
It is You O Lord,
it is the sight of You
affixed to the Cross and suffering insults;
it is the sight of Your broken body,
as well as Your pains and Your death.
There is nothing You can give me
to make me love You.
For even if there were no heaven and no hell
I would still love you as I do! Amen.
I don’t like the pain I know Jesus suffered but I am overwhelmed by the love of God to make Jesus the sacrifice for all human sin.
Tenebrae (Latin for “shadows” or “darkness”) is a Christian religious service celebrated in the Holy Week within Western Christianity, on the evening before or early morning of Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and Holy Saturday. Tenebrae is distinctive for its gradual extinguishing of candles while a series of readings and psalms is chanted or recited.
The church where I worship held their Tenebrae service on Thursday night. I was allowed to be a reader to assist in the serving of Holy Communion. The in the visual image of the candles each being extinguished as a different moment of the betrayal of Jesus is read has power. It reminds me that just as those people abandoned him, we also have the option to abandon him. I know I have not been nearly as faithful to Christ in my life as I would like to be. So am using this visual memory of the candles being extinguished as a reminder to be more steadfast to honoring Christ in my life. It is a great way to prepare for Easter.
