Some of my friends ask me how I decide which patients and visitors to visit at the hospital. There are many factors that can bring me into a specific area. If I am paged a visit is guaranteed. I also have units that I am assigned to visit and I can be found there frequently. I also do what we call “general rounding” where I can be anywhere in the hospital and look for people who appear to have concern.
The picture I have borrowed for this post shows a man who by facial expression and body language gives me a clue that I should approach him to see if I can help him cope. These visits often take place in waiting areas as family and/or friends are waiting before they can see the patient they came to see.
The visits are often rich in content as I learn what the patient is having done and I learn how much the person waiting cares for the patient. Often as people wait they feel helpless or they reimagine what brought them to this point and think, “If only we had ___________, then we might not be here now.” Offering affirmation and a break from the act of waiting while you are alone is one ministry a chaplain can offer that visitors really value. While they don’t think to ask for a chaplain they express they are glad I took the time to visit and spend some time with them on their journey. Some visitors as me to pray with them right there in the waiting area. Other times people don’t want a prayer at the moment but invite me to come see the patient and pray when the patient is back in their assigned room. I do what the visitor desires because my goal is to be of comfort to them in that moment and not follow a predetermined list of actions based on my needs. Anxiety is a part of the waiting process, but it can be lessened by meaningful conversations and the display of empathy and concern.
Every day at work I try to practice courtesy in all of my encounters. Since I am an upbeat person this comes naturally to me. It is also part of the culture that is nurtured in our hospital. I wish I could say being courteous is always easy! Sometimes I see or hear something that is against what I believe is proper and would love to “speak my mind”. When this happens before I speak I silently ask myself, “Is what I am thinking really the proper thing to say at this moment?”
I found myself wanting to respond in less than a courteous manner two times today. I probably would have done so had it not been for the culture of courtesy that is promoted in our hospital. Being courteous keeps the dialogue open and creates the opportunity for honest sharing. When courtesy is absent in an encounter, people “hold back” talking to strangers. Since many people I meet every day are strangers to me, I have to present myself in a manner that allows them to feel safe engaging in conversation with me.
Though courtesy is not nearly as obvious a spiritual discipline as prayer, if I ever want to have the chance to pray with someone, I have to show them I am courteous first. If I don’t the opportunity for prayer may never happen.
Yesterday I wrote about the first day of Spring and how the weather resembled Winter more than it did Spring. Today the weather is bright and sunny and it feels good just to be outside in the open air. I reflected on this and thought, “What a difference a day makes?”
As I reflected on my change in attitude in the weather it reminded me of the change in mood in patients when they start to feel better than when they entered the hospital. Here some comments I receive from patients that tell me they have improved during their stay:
“I thought I was going to die last night in the Emergency Room, who would have thought all I had was heartburn?”
“When I learned I had a stroke I felt my life was over. Now with therapy I am going to be okay, I’ll just have to take things more slowly.”
“When I heard the word ‘dialysis’ I was sure my days were numbered. Now I have been on treatment for 2 years and I find the treatments have given me the blessing of continuing to watch my grandchildren grow.”
All of these encounters have caused me to remember a simple but true statement: Don’t put a period where God has placed a comma. I am going to try to remember this outlook as I move forward in life. I invite you to join me!
I use my cell phone and my computer frequently. One of the most commonly used features is the calendar program. What makes it convenience for me is that:
I can enter events in the cell phone and they appear on my computer as well.
I can enter events on the computer and they appear in my cell phone as well.
All was well until I dropped my cell phone and was shipped a replacement. On the replacement phone this feature I described is not working. If I enter events on my cell phone they do not show up on my computer. Interestingly if I enter an event on my computer it does show up on my cell phone. I will admit I am still sorting out this issue and find it very frustrating.
On reflecting on it though I think it is an illustration of what happens when we don’t focus on God. If my computer is God, the computer is able to send my cell phone (which represents me) messages and they arrive promptly. If I am not focused on God I can send him messages and they don’t show up. I wonder how many times in life I have been guilty of not functioning so I can stay in sync with God? During Lent I am working intentionally to stay in sync with God. I pray you are able to stay in sync with God also!
This is a picture of the morgue from the TV show NCIS. In the picture the Medical Examiner, Dr. Donald Mallard, is examining a corpse.
Today I conducted a tour of our hospital for a new volunteer chaplain who will be assisting in covering the pager schedule. I had to show him our morgue because from time-to-time the Chaplain along with a Nurse and a Security Officer has to accompany family members to the morgue to view a body. This takes place when the family member arrives after the patient is moved from their hospital room to the morgue. Our preferred location to let the family view the body is in the hospital room. We extend flexibility in how long we wait to move the body. But in some instances the family is going to be too long in arriving and the body has to be sent to the morgue.
I was asked how I feel about taking family members to the morgue. I was honest and said it was not my favorite way to serve the needs of family members. But I feel the presence of a Chaplain in that situation makes the viewing a lot less stressful for the family than it would be without the Chaplain. So while it is not my favorite task, I do not shirk the responsibility when the need arises. For me ministry is not about my convenience, it is about what best meets the needs of the patient and/or their family members.
At the February 23 Service of Remembrance a “common chorus” was sang by the family representatives who spoke. Each family was able to name specific things staff or departments had done to make their time of losing a beloved family member just a bit gentler than it would otherwise have been. Here are few specific acts of kindness that were mentioned:
One patient who was on 7 South was celebrating his 64thWedding Anniversary two days before he died. The staff knew this would be their last wedding anniversary and had Dietary provide a small cake with his dinner tray. His wife had tears of joy for the love they shared as she told this portion of their hospital experience.
One patient’s family said they had been in these units: Emergency Department, Intensive Care Unit, High Level Care Unit and 7 North during the time they were here. They reported that the staff on each unit showed genuine concern for the patient and the family members. The daughter of the patient said, “The staff treated us like we were part of their family.”
One patient arrived by ambulance and was given CPR in the ambulance and in the Emergency Department. As it happened in this case the administration of CPR did not result in saving his life. The family apologized for not thanking the Emergency Department staff that evening for all they did for the patient. The daughter said, “We were all so overwhelmed by our emotions that the thought of saying thank you did not even cross our minds.”
It is common at our Service of Remembrance to hear comments like the ones shared in this article. The evening was a reminder to me that even though we do hear complaints from some patients, we also please many patients who never get the chance to convey their appreciation. The evening was an encouragement to me to remember that even though we don’t receive a “thank you”, that does not mean the care we have given is not appreciated.
I like this graphic depiction of feedback because it shows feedback as circular process where both parties have a change to listen and to speak. Recently I talked with a friend who has recently been a patient in our hospital. This person generally has felt positive about his admissions at our hospital. The most recent admission has not ranked nearly as highly of the previous admissions. We talked at length about what went right and what did not go so well. I was able to solve the issues, but I was able to let him know I cared about his experience. As I am able I will submit the feedback to our Patient Experience & Culture Department in the hope we can a better job of meeting the expectations of future patients. Networking is clearly part of the chaplain’s role of increasing communication for the benefit of all parties.
When I first moved to Cumberland I lived in historic Baltimore Street located in the downtown area. It is a wonderful area to walk in and admire the historic buildings and the displays in the store windows. Today we had a snow storm where the snow came down from the sky pretty much all day. In the evening I was out driving and saw this scene of the street where I used to live.
We have had a lot of snow storms and cold weather this winter and many events have been cancelled. Last week the local school district only held classes on 1 day out of 5. For 2 Sundays in a row the church I attend has cancelled worship due to the wind, cold temperatures, and snow. People in the area who don’t like snow and cold are getting “fed up” with the continuation of winter weather.
I have been reminded as I have heard their comments of one of the more famous prayers that have been prayed in Christian Churches.
If we can pray the Prayer of St. Francis and let it fill our hearts and minds, then we can survive winter and thoroughly enjoy the warm weather that Spring is sure to bring! Amen!
Today I spent over 2 hours of my day working on two different projects where the time I spent will never be noticed by those see the result of the preparation. At the end of the day when I had to divide my work hours into the statistical form we use to track out work I was amazed at how much time I had spent doing what to some was “invisible” work.
I am not alone in this line of invisible work. For every front line contact patients receive there are a whole host of people behind the scenes working to make sure things are all properly lined up for their encounter. So today I want to commend all readers who regularly involve themselves in behind the scenes preparations that do attract a lot of attention or thought by those who benefit from them.
Today our Pastoral Care Department in cooperation with the Roman Catholic Priest offered an ecumenical Ash Wednesday Service with Imposition of Ashes to our Employees, Visitors, and the few patients who could come to our Chapel for the service. In addition the ashes were delivered to nearly every department in the hospital. My assignment was to visit the offices in our building across the street from the hospital which houses offices for many departments. People were surprised that even though they were not located in the hospital that the hospitality of bringing the ashes to them was being extended.
During the day I also learned of two patient deaths. Those deaths brought an enhanced sense of reality to the words, “Remember from dust you came and to dust you shall return.” Those are the words I had spoken as I made the mark of the cross on some of the foreheads of the people I saw earlier in the day. The tradition of imposing ashes took on new meaning as I was seeing people fulfill the words I had spoken several hours earlier. It was a good experiential demonstration to me that we must be ready to trust on the promises of God every day.
