Today is the first “snow day” of the season for our local school students.  The snow began today at around 4 AM.  You may not at first think this is a topic related to chaplaincy.  I assure you it does relate.  First, parents of children still need to report to work.  So sometimes this means their children are self-supervised instead of being supervised by the school they attend while the parents are away from home.  Second, snow has a magnetic attraction for children.  They want to play in it doing things like making snow men, making snow balls, and sledding.  While these activities can be done safely sometimes injury does result.  Sledding is probably one of the activities that bring up the most accidents.

I had dealt with anxious parents who rush from their place of employment to the hospital to see how their child is doing.  Someone either from home or the hospital has called them to say their child is in our Emergency Department being treated for a sledding accident.  The look of relief on the faces of the parents as they see that the injuries their child received have only been minor always touches my heart.   This is a display of the love a parent has for a child in its purest form.  So today on our first “snow day” I offer anyone out in the snow to be careful and avoid injury.

At our monthly meeting of our volunteer chaplains I was leading the team building portion of the meeting.  I asked everyone to answer the same question, “What was the most meaningful gift you received this Christmas and why was it meaningful?”

Our answered varied based on our situations.  But the common denominator between all the responses was that the love and affection the giver had for the recipient was clear to all of us as the answers were shared.  Gifts do much more than stimulate the economy; they show that we are enough about the recipient to get them something we know they will truly enjoy.  This does not always mean the gift has to be expensive.  It does require action of the heart as we select the gift with the recipient in mind.

In the hospital I speak with patients who often say the gift they want most no matter the time of year is healing of the condition that brought them to us in the first place.  Sometimes we are able to provide healing.  In other instances where all we can offer in management of the illness, patients are still grateful for the tools we use to offer them comfort.  I am convinced that healing and comfort are two of the most important gifts the health care profession offers to our patients.

My day began with some sad news.  I had an email from a clergy colleague telling that a pastor had taken his life by suicide.  He had a history of being treated for depression.  My mind immediately went to how I felt in 2004 when I was diagnosed with depression.  In my case I did not ever seriously contemplate suicide.  But many people with depression at least consider suicide.  And like the report I received today, some patients actually implement a plan that takes their life.

The image I chose for this post spells out several words that are a part of the depression journey.  Unfortunately many people with depression feel shame for not being able to deal with their emotions and overcome the feelings they experience.  Depression itself is nothing to be ashamed about.  How we handle it has a big difference in how completely we get our lives back together and move forward.

In hospital life I periodically have the experience of talking with family members of a patient who has attempted suicide.  These are always situations loaded with emotions.  In the time following an attempt at suicide family members often wonder what signs they missed that things were so serious for the patient.  Often times there are just no easy answers.  I feel it is essential for people to know the symptoms of depression and encourage people we know who exhibit them to get treatment.  Part of this encouragement can take the form of displaying a willingness to walk alongside them on the treatment journey.  Knowing you are not alone and have a person you trust who understands I feel can make a big difference and potentially reduce the number of suicide attempts.  Sure it takes time, but time is a small investment to prevent someone from taking their life.

Weather presents many opportunities for potential injury.  Today in Cumberland is an excellent example; we have no snow on the ground but have been receiving rain and freezing rain all morning.  When I walked my dog this morning both of us slid on a patch of side walk that was icier that the rest of the sidewalk.  We were both able to regain our balance and not fall.  From that point on we walked in the grass where we were able to walk and not slide.

Accidents happen in an instant, like sliding on ice, but the recovery process can take weeks especially if a bone fracture is the result.  I have been with many patients who as they examine how they were injured in retrospect, admit they could have used more caution and save a lot of misery in the process.

Let’s start off 2015 by being safe and taking precautions when we are able to do so.  Very few journeys are worth a bone fracture and potential surgery to follow!

Every week I see people waiting at the hospital.  I have observed these common situations as people play what I will call the “waiting game”.

•  Unoccupied time feels longer than occupied time.
• Anxiety makes waits seem longer.
• Uncertain waits seem longer than known finite waits.
• Solo waits seem longer than group waits.

 If you are preparing to be a hospital patient I advise you to look at this list and think about ways you can deal with the dynamics that are necessary as we wait.

 Bringing a book to read or some other “portable hobby” will allow you to pass time rather than watching the clock as the minutes seem to take forever to move.

 If you have fears about the process those fears can become anxiety and make the waiting seem longer than it really takes.  To help yourself deal with this reality, ask as many questions as you need to about the specific health status of your patient.  Many times people worry about things that are not likely to happen in their situation.

 When dealing with hospital staff if you are asked to wait, it is a great idea to ask the staff member how long you should expect to wait.  Many times employees will volunteer this time frame information to help ease your tensions.

 I have observed that people who wait individually have a lot more anxiety than when several people are waiting together and can offer each other encouragement and make the time pass more quickly.  By all means bring a friend or family member who has a calming effect on you as part of your support system.

 I hope these tips will help you have a better experience next time you are waiting in a hospital.

Today is the first day of the New Year!  We can determine what we do with the year.  The options of how we use our time is in many cases up to us.  My goal is to try to make the best decisions in the uses of my time.  I plan to let the Holy Spirit and discernment guide me as I navigate through the year.  I wish you the best as you make the uses of each day throughout 2015!

Today is the final day of the year.  Like many of you I am dealing with the fact that there are many projects I intended to complete in 2014 and in the remaining hours of the year I realize I won’t be able to complete.  Some of the assignments I regret not completing the most are visits to patients that could not be completed.  I wonder what beautiful congregations I have missed by not having these visits.  I hope I am able to connect with these families in 2015.  My best wishes go to all my readers as you prepare to enter the New Year.

At our hospital we utilize lay people to be “Prayer Partners”.  These people are assigned to our Same Day Surgery, Cancer Center, and Outpatient Dialysis Units.  Their task is an important one but yet it is so simple.  They approach patients and ask if they would like to talk or have prayer as they are waiting.  Patients respond positively to these offers of support in these settings.  The reason this is a simple ministry for our volunteers is that they have a strong faith and are already comfortable meeting strangers and praying publicly before they are placed in this role.  This week we had a new person apply for this volunteer ministry.  It was exciting to see the volunteer explain the joy received in the process of praying for and with others.  In the past several months I had prayed for the spouse of this volunteer during the spouses inpatient admission and that encounter prompted the interest in being a Prayer Partner.  That is the great dynamic about ministry, when people experience it then they desire to be a part of it.  It is one of those things where the experience of the moment is much more powerful than simply reading a description of the moment like you are doing now.  I share this because it brightens my day when other people want to volunteer their time to help us provide pastoral care to our patients.

When a person dies it is customary in the United States to hold a Memorial or Funeral Service.  These services have the dual purpose of:

• Honoring the life of the person who has died.
• Giving those who survive the deceased an opportunity to have a formal moment of closure.

Sometimes people request that no service of any type be held after their death.  When I ask people why they feel this way, the two most common responses are:

• I don’t want my body on display after I die.
• A service is just too much effort for others; I was to exit earth without a lot of activity.

I believe in honoring the wishes of the deceased as funeral or memorial services are planned.  That is why I think it is crucially important to have these discussions with those we love before they die.  If they are of the opinion a service would be a burden for those who survive them, the survivors have the opportunity to share why they want to have a service and why it will benefit them.

I recently had a patient die that I had grown quite close to during our chaplain – patient relationship.  We had discussed many things about events in her life that were important to her.  We had discussed salvation and how much she loved God, even though she made mistakes in her life.  I assured here that there has never been a person die that has not made mistakes.  Our mistakes are not barriers from God due to God’s grace and willingness to forgive.

Since this patient has chosen not to have a service either funeral or memorial, I find myself without a formal way to bid a farewell to her.  So I am writing this blog to express my sense of loss and also offer a positive reason for why funerals and memorial services are important.  I hope this article helps at least one person as they plan for their exit from earth and entry to the Heavenly Kingdom!

At our Christmas Eve Service last night the pastor talked about a “Muddled Christmas”.  A “muddled” is one where one or more important things don’t go correctly.  The picture I posted is obviously showing the cook is aghast at the appearance of her turkey as it roasts in the oven.  The point of Christmas is that its true meaning and purpose still happens even when:

• Our menu is messed up somehow.
• Our gifts are not wrapped and sent on time.
• Our Christmas cards are sent late.
• Or when any meaningful element of our celebration is somehow not up to our expectations for it.

The reason a “muddled” Christmas is okay is that no matter what flaws arise in our plans and preparations Jesus is still born to fulfill God’s plan.  Through Christ we still have forgiveness of sin and guarantee of eternal life with God.

Many times I encounter families who find they are in less than ideal situations as Christmas approaches.  One of the most difficult scenarios is when a loved one has died or is declining toward death on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.  To make myself clear, I do not consider this a minor challenge.  It also is a challenge that God will help us meet.  The promises that God makes to us about salvation and our place in the heavenly kingdom are still true and we can depend on them.  By offering family members love and support all of us can help them shoulder the emotional burden they face and remind them of their faith and what it promises.

I was thankful to have this reminder in worship that Christmas can be perfect even when our preparations for it fail to meet our expectations and desires.  That is because Jesus Christ lives today!  Amen.