When people interact sometimes they agree and other times they disagree. Today I am addressing those situations where two people disagree. Disagreement causes anxiety, and when we are highly anxious our minds are hard wired to do either of these options:
- I am uncomfortable, get me out of here! (Flight)
- This person does not know what they are talking about, I am going to set them straight! (Fight)
I am not going to tell you which option is best, because there is no universal rule that works in every situation. I am writing to put the concept in your mind in an analytical way before the disagreement takes place. That way as you feel the emotions you will know why they are being triggered.
If we feel we can reason with the person we disagree with pursuing a conversation to resolve the issue might seem reasonable. (Fight)
If we feel there is no way to get the other person to listen fairly to our situation, then we simply want to leave as quickly as possible. (Flight)
When these situations happen for me, I find that if I can temporarily leave the situation and reflect on the matters that cause disagreement then I can more clearly see if I want to engage the person in conversation or if it is better just to avoid the person. My decision generally comes down to whether I am willing to tolerate the stress involved to confront the person or if I prefer the absence of stress and eliminate myself from the situation.
We all must make the same type of decision. It is part of our survival process. Seeking the counsel of people, we trust can help us in our decision making but in the end, we must decide what is best for ourselves whether others agree or not.