One day I was working with a person who was in grief over the death of someone special.  Because of the high level of emotional grief in play the person was scared of how to write an obituary that gave proper respect for all the deceased person had done.  I suggested that before anything was written on paper that the loved one should ask this question, “What would my life be like without _________?”

Later when I had read the obituary and then saw the person who wrote I commented on how respectfully and completely the obituary summarized the life of the deceased.  The author of the obituary said my question was helpful.  It helped change the focus from what was lost through death to what had been gained through living.  When a lot of people hear the title “chaplain” they associate it with prayer.  Chaplaincy often times is more focused on helping us process our thoughts and reconcile them with our emotions than it is with prayer.  The instance I have described is just one time out of many where a change in the angle at which we approach a painful moment makes all the difference in how well or how poorly we are able to deal with emotional pain.  I offer you the invitation to change perspective when you are trapped by painful emotions that keep you from moving forward.